Marcus, Philosopher King

trappedinavelociraptor:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

xeduo:

wilwheaton:

bookoisseur:

adulthoodisokay:

je-suis-loupseul:

balfies:

ruinedchildhood:

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me and my partner have been obsessed with the unhinged insanity of this video for the last day. I can’t stop thinking about it.

I can feel parts of my body shutting down in self-defense while watching this. The amount of damage food like this does should be criminalized. The sheer amount of dairy in it alone is a capital crime.

I’m reblogging this to find it to use as an appetite suppressant in future.

it just keEPS GOING

Can we talk about this video and how I CAN NOT.

…the fuck.

The “And One More Thing” quality of this reminds me of the Taco Town SNL sketch

i think what makes this one special is how long into the video it remains credibly edible. like “oh it’s pulled chicken. oh, chicken tacos. chicken tacos in a pizza shape? okay sour cream goes with tacos, the mayo’s weird but. hey wait what are you doing with those frying ingredients”

Someone on Twitter made it. It filled them only with regret.

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Oh gods why. Whyyyyyy. Whyyyyyyyyyyy.

odinsblog:

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Does anyone else remember Brett Kavanaugh throwing one childish mantrum™ after another during his confirmation hearings? But yeah, sure, please keep telling me how AOC is the “emotional” one.

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Republicans: Crying for others who are suffering is a sign of weakness and instability, but crying for yourself? That shows real character.

vampireapologist:

i think one of the most common dangers I run into in the edible and medicinal plant scene is the problem of “can you eat it” vs. “should you eat it”

a lot of websites and books these days will be like “ten wild plants you can use to make tea” without then listing the actual use for those teas because all they care about is the novelty of making your own tea from things you picked in the woods.

They tell you stuff like “A wonderfully cleansing medicine, it supports the liver, stimulates the flow of urine and the removal of waste by the kidneys.”

And people are so into the idea of cleansing their bodies of supposed toxins, that sounds great!

But what I know is that what they really mean is, this plant is a diuretic, meaning if you use it for tea, you’re going to peeing All. Day. Long. Every. Ten. Minutes.

Which isn’t fun if you’re on a hike or about to get back in your car and drive an hour home.

Some popular plants recommended for teas are used as contraceptives and morning after treatments. So here you are, trying to get pregnant, drinking your natural to rid your kidneys of impurities, being healthy as can be, and all along you’re taking birth control!

And if you’re already taking birth control and trying to not get pregnant, the plant can mess you up too.

There are plants that mess with antidepressants, and with blood pressure medicine, that make you sick to your stomach, that messes with your blood, and on and on.

And all of these sources will just list them as something you can eat, because hey, you won’t die if if you do!

Which is true, you’ll live, but at what cost!!!

Please remember herbal remedies and edible plants have always been consumed and applied with a PURPOSE, and unless you know what that purpose is, don’t consume them just because you can. It’s a bad idea.

kawaiite-mage:

kawaiite-mage:

It’s awfully sexy of Castlevania to say that the Catholic church as a human institution is susceptible to the same flaws and corruption as any other institution instead of the stock edgy “all religion is fake and god isnt real and I am very smart for thinking so” that it could have done.

Broke: “god isn’t real and you are a stupid bishop”

Woke: “you make god puke”

moominlovingmen:

travelers-banter:

Not to hijack the weed allergy discourse but also don’t smoke at pride cause if someone has asthma then just the smell of smoke can cause their chests to close up. No amount of inhalers is gonna keep us from being unable to breathe in smoke. Please don’t smoke at pride.

just dont smoke in populated public spaces like period. its common courtesy no one wants your secondhand and there are tons of health conditions that can cause a negative reaction to smoke exposure, plus it just smells nasty. this goes for weed, tobacco products, and your dessert flavored vapes too

epistemophilicmortal:

jumpingjacktrash:

combeferret:

conquerorwurm:

One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified

#stop calling me out

if you want to interact with a cat that doesn’t know you, sit down not facing it. glance at it occasionally and make an inviting noise, but mostly just play with your phone or whatever.

the cat will almost certainly come over to check you out sooner or later. it’ll stay out of arm’s reach because it doesn’t know if you’re a jerk. offer your hand and let the cat sniff. wait. if the cat wants pettins, it will indicate that by noofing your hand, flopping on its side, or coming in close.

the cat may want to be bros but not get pettins. in that case, it will sit or lie near you but out of reach. this is friendly! the cat is saying, you’re a person in my neighborhood! hi neighbor!

of course, it’s possible that the cat is a great big cuddleslut and will come love all over you. that happens too. but if it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s an unfriendly cat. be chill and let the cat choose how close to get, and you’ll find most cats are pretty friendly.

The only information that matters

lynati:
“ movemequotes:
“ Once a little boy went to school.
One morning
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy.
He liked to make all kinds;
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats;
And...

lynati:

movemequotes:

Once a little boy went to school.
One morning
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy.
He liked to make all kinds;
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats;
And he took out his box of crayons
And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!”
“It is not time to begin!”
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
“Now,” said the teacher,
“We are going to make flowers.”
“Good!” thought the little boy,
He liked to make beautiful ones
With his pink and orange and blue crayons.
But the teacher said “Wait!”
“And I will show you how.”
And it was red, with a green stem.
“There,” said the teacher,
“Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower
Then he looked at his own flower.
He liked his flower better than the teacher’s
But he did not say this.
He just turned his paper over,
And made a flower like the teacher’s.
It was red, with a green stem.

On another day
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make something with clay.”
“Good!” thought the little boy;
He liked clay.
He could make all kinds of things with clay:
Snakes and snowmen,
Elephants and mice,
Cars and trucks
And he began to pull and pinch
His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!”
“It is not time to begin!”
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
“Now,” said the teacher,
“We are going to make a dish.”
“Good!” thought the little boy,
He liked to make dishes.
And he began to make some
That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!”
“And I will show you how.”
And she showed everyone how to make
One deep dish.
“There,” said the teacher,
“Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish;
Then he looked at his own.
He liked his better than the teacher’s
But he did not say this.
He just rolled his clay into a big ball again
And made a dish like the teacher’s.
It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon
The little boy learned to wait,
And to watch
And to make things just like the teacher.
And pretty soon
He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened
That the little boy and his family
Moved to another house,
In another city,
And the little boy
Had to go to another school.

The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy.
And he waited for the teacher
To tell what to do.
But the teacher didn’t say anything.
She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy
She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?”
“Yes,” said the little boy.
“What are we going to make?”
“I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher.
“How shall I make it?” asked the little boy.
“Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher.
“And any color?” asked the little boy.
“Any color,” said the teacher.
And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy


pluckyredhead:

thranduilland:

whateverhumans:

siesiegirl:

professorsparklepants:

tuesdayisfordancing:

ozymandias271:

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/
noun
  1. a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

My high school English teacher always explained it with: “He took his hat and his leave.”

A dog with a bodycam.

hellotailor:

i’m so invested in toronto’s mystery tunnel story. after a month of fruitless investigating and a week-long public appeal from the police, two anonymous guys have admitted to building the whole thing for funsies. that’s it, no big deal. just guys being dudes. they just dug a 30-foot tunnel for personal reasons. case closed. amazing.

Cool story.